


show me how

by mistiia



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sad Ethan Nestor, Unus Annus, Zombie Apocalypse, ethan is a big boy now i guess lol, nice post apocalypse people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28647135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistiia/pseuds/mistiia
Summary: “Are you gonna kill me?” Ethan asks, bored expression dampening any humour he was trying to communicate to the corpse. They never reply, Ethan swings his rifle with hands gripped steadily on the barrel of the gun and splatters the mushy skull against the back of a car.He trudged on, leaving the town behind.-or-somewhere deep down, they both survived because even the death of this world would not do them part.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach & Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 10
Kudos: 123





	show me how

**Author's Note:**

> hi ive literally been writing this for like 2 months help. and there's probably spelling errors but shhhhhhh u didn't see noTHIN
> 
> anyway enjoy thank u <3

Sometime within the last few hours, Ethan had lost all motivation to fix whatever was dug right in the sore spot between his shoulders. The power of sleep deprivation had convinced him that if he were to even stop for a second he’d never start moving again.

Ethan preferred to travel at night these days, since he lost his car and all of the ones he’d tried to start had already been scavenged for parts and gas - traveling at night made it easier to avoid other people in the area and infected had pretty bad vision regardless, especially under the blindfold of night. 

Birds were rustling in the trees as the wind shook their dirty wings and the leaves around them - Ethan thinks if humans could fly he would sit on top of the highest building and watch the world pass by.

“Fuckin’ birds.” Passes through his lips before he has the chance to remind himself of the positive thinking thing he was trying out, the array of rubble littering the ground was looking very kickable suddenly.

The town he passes through was meant to be his resting place for the night, all marked out on the map stuffed in the front pocket of his bag - yet on arrival he saw the entire place had been reduced to ashes long ago. Most likely it was blown up when the breakout first happened, the only thing left being ghoulish foundations of houses and cracked asphalt.

Being left exposed like this in the dead of night in the middle of what looked to be a battle ground wasn't Ethan’s smartest decision sure, but since the world completely fell off its axis some five years ago, losing everyone he once loved, staring the true cruelty of humans in the face many times, and countless other tragedies - he's tired of crouching behind the bumpers of cars and being scared of his survival every second of every day.

Ethan thinks if he got shot in the head, sniped by a stranger with more drive to survive than he ever had - he would be at peace.

There was never a plan, but something always keeps him moving. Traveling town to town and surviving comfortably on his journey to find- find something. Ethan never knew exactly what he was looking for, sometimes he wonders if it’s a home, other times he thinks he’s looking for people to call a family - but he’s lost too many people for that to be true. A purpose, maybe.

Cool blue moonlight begins to peek through the clouds above and shine down, illuminating the dirt collecting in the contours of the man’s face, Ethan stalls to take a minute to feel how the breeze skates through the slightly too long hair on top of his head, bathing in the freshness of the wind to take away the feeling he’s always standing in a graveyard.

But his rifle slips from where it had been hooked over his shoulder and clatters to the ground, ruining whatever special moment happened in his head. Ethan bends around to collect the weapon, already hearing the grotesque noises of a runner that was baited by the noise. A scowl crosses over his expression, ready to beat that shit out of whatever was dragging its feet in his direction.

The runner locks eyes with Ethan when he stands back up to full height, skin flaking red and deep set eye sockets that sickened even more with death. The monster craned its neck, mumbling noises only itself understands, flinches at it correlates Ethan with it’s insatiable hunger.

“Are you gonna kill me?” Ethan asks, bored expression dampening any humour he was trying to communicate to the corpse. They never reply, Ethan swings his rifle with hands gripped steadily on the barrel of the gun and splatters the mushy skull against the back of a car. 

He trudged on, leaving the town behind.

-

The sun is peeking over the horizon by the time Ethan finds a place to settle for a while, coming across a part of the area that had scorch marks and general devastation but was still pretty much intact. The apartment block, rising probably 20 stories, was destroyed on the first floor but all the apartments above the fifth floor remained mostly free of damage apart from looting.

There was a general understanding after all of the major chaos had subsided that people left each other alone, especially travellers, it was different from the dystopian media Ethan had an obsession with in his younger years.

He’d heard and seen the guarded communities of survivors going to petty war with each other over resources and land, the thing he’d misjudged in the beginning was that sure, there was safety in large numbers - but with large numbers there is always a power hungry contest between the leaders. Ethan lost most of his group in a petty war, fighting for land he never cared about in the first place.

Travelers were always pleasant, small groups as well, everyone was just trying to get by and survive - Ethan felt safe even with the knowledge that there were probably other people settled in this building, the keys to the front door of the apartment had even been left on the kitchen counter.

Ethan strips out of his clothes as soon as his backpack hits the bed, hanging the well worn jacket over the little chair in the corner of the dimly lit room, and heads towards the bathroom with a rag and dirty clothes.

There is dust littering every surface, once white porcelain now coated in a shade of brown - yet there were no dead bodies in the bathtub so Ethan counts this as a win.

His bony fingers find the empty mouthwash cup after he plugs the sink drain, moving to the toilet to remove the tank lid, finding untouched water (he refuses to think about how long it had been sat there, but clear water is usually good water when it's in an apartment).

The mouthwash cup serves as means to fill the sink with water to wash the dirt away that had been collecting on his skin. Ethan works carefully wetting the rag and pulling away the gross feeling on his body that had become way more than just a physical. The water smooths the plains on his face out, the contours of his face become less jarring, younger looking - it reveals the smooth skin - teenage acne long gone. Looking in the mirror, Ethan allows himself to feel handsome for just a second.

With whatever soap was left over, he moves to his clothes next, submerging them and trying his best to freshen them up before hanging them in various places to dry.

Ethan falls asleep before he even hits the pillow.

-

Screams of desperation and chilling terror bounce like rays of grim toned light through the city, Ethan hears them before he sees them. Shouting and angry, sick laughter, he knows exactly what the situation is and is completely okay with turning in the opposite direction, not eager to get involved. But then he hears a cry, a desperate cry that tugs at whatever morals he has left.

There’s a kid, barely over the age of eleven bent over who Ethan assumes is her mother, rope shackles around her wrist pulled by a masked man with one too many guns on him. The kid is screaming, tear tracks freshly streaming down her horrified face - her mother is dead.

“Fucking Revenants.” Ethan spits, taking off in a sprint grasping at the pistol holster on his waist.

Ethan never liked to get involved with Revenants, he would rather throw himself into a pit of runners than ever have to deal with one of the masked men. Piss them off and you’ll be hunted to the coasts of every country left in this world. A truly evil group of people that lost all of their morals along with civilization, ripping people apart for power, and torturing souls into their ranks.

Ethan’s been through it, he won’t see a kid be dragged away and turned into a monster.

The kid is trying her best, she really is, throwing every ounce of whatever energy she has left into fighting the rope around her wrists. The man looks like he’s chuckling at the misery he’s causing, tugging on the rope like he’s beckoning a dog, Ethan feels sick, drawing his pistol as soon as he’s confident he is close enough and squeezing the trigger, a bitter taste on his tongue.

It's loud, way too loud, god knows what he attracted with the noise of gunfire and the wails of this kid. It ricochets around the walls of the hollow city, bouncing from building to building. The Revenant thumps to the ground, releasing the rope and the kid crawls sobbing to rest on her mother's dead body. 

Jogging over, Ethan’s throat is caught in a tight knot, he kneels maybe three feet from his kid and clears the restriction.

“I’m not gonna hurt you-” He starts, feeling a little bit odd. The girl doesn't react, but her sobs quieten down.

God when was the last time he saw a kid.

The girl takes a second to look up at him, she appears terrified, Ethan’s heart aches. She sniffles, Ethan drops his pistol on the ground, offering his hands out to remove the rope from her wrists. She obliges, the soft caring look in Ethan’s face being enough for her to move a little towards him.

He works silently, remembering the knot used and working to untie it. The girls wrists are rubbed raw, probably tied way too tightly for way too long. 

“We have to move.” He tells her quietly, she sniffles again, tears still beading in her eyes but she uses her free hands to wipe her face down. The kid looks even younger up close, now sat with her legs out to her front in exhaustion, her eyes are forming light bruising and the brunette hair falling past her shoulders has knots throughout. Ethan’s heart aches.

She begins to nod lightly, then harder, taking a look into Ethan’s eyes and then back to the body. The girl crawls up on her hands and knees and leans over to lay a small kiss down on her mother's forehead.

“I love you mama.” She whispers and Ethan barely catches it, it sounds so fragile, so lonely. A cold breeze passes through the city, raising goose bumps over everything it touches - the opposite seen in how the sun had settled into a golden light from the evening, lighting everything ugly up to look so beautiful.

The child turns to Ethan with a determination he’d never seen before in someone so young, he knows the feeling too well. Losing everything, realising that you only have yourself now, but you’d do anything to carry on. 

“You’re gonna be okay.” He says slowly as he stands. The girl looks up, light eyes and brown hair with emotion similar to himself with the wonder of trusting strangers with everything for the first time - it seems a little familiar.

She nods.

The chill of the Washington weather had already begun seeping across the ground to nip at their exposed ankles, earlier this year than it did the last. Ethan was usually good with the cold, opting to spend the nights wrapped in anything he could find and sleeping till the sun began warming the earth back up, he didn't want that for the girl.

“Do you have other people here?” he asks cautiously, not knowing if it would upset the girl further.

The girl huffs a little, growing like she doesn't know how to get the words across.

“Just you?” 

She nods.

Ethan hums. Maybe they’ll go back to Los Angeles, it’s not too far and definitely warmer than Washington in the winter, he’ll just have to find a car.

-

Ethan uses some of his drinking water to help clean the girl up, wipes away the dirt tear tracks on her face - they walk the apartments in the building and find a hairbrush. Ethan sits on a bed, her kneeling away from him on the floor and works the tangles out gently.

“You have a name?” 

“Yeah.” she replies just as easily. A surprised huff of laughter leaves Ethan. 

“Okay comedian, care to tell me?”

He can tell the girl is smirking just the slightest, and it always baffles him how quickly people bounce back from tragedy in this world, this girl must have been through the rose bushes if her default is sarcasm.

“Lee.” 

Ethan hums, concentration on the last knot as he works it free. He spots a tear in her t-shirt.  
“Alright Lee-” the knot comes free and he smooths her hair over one last time with the brush. “I think we should find you some new clothes.”

Lee reaches back to feel her hair and smiles, not to her eyes just yet, but Ethan will make sure that it will come with time. 

They walk from apartment to apartment, sparingly taking what they need. They come across a boys room, devoid of life but with memories in clothes that happen to fit Lee perfectly - if not a little too large. The girl is as thrilled as she could manage, picking a few t-shirts that looked warmer, a hoodie that was left hung on the back of a door, among other items Ethan felt that would be useful. They deposit them in another backpack they find sometime later, it's a little too large for her small body - but it works to fit most things. 

Ethan pulls a rusty swiss army knife from a bedside table, its red paint chipping but all of the tools inside seem to be intact, most importantly the switch knife. 

“Keep this in your pocket.” He says and hands it to the girl. Lee looks at it like it’s a three headed bear but nods swiftly and pockets it. Though Ethan catches her patting over where the tool sits in her pants as if to check it didn't disappear every ten minutes.

Lee isn't so talkative, but neither is Ethan anymore. He remembers the times a decade ago where he couldn't seem to shut up most of the time, he finds himself thinking of ways to get her out of her own head.

She finds a flask with a snap hook under another apartment's kitchen sink, it's worse for wear, but usable. The girls hold it up in both of her hands for Ethan to take, he does and snaps it onto a loop on the back of his backpack.

“Have you ever been to LA?” he says sparingly after a while, eating syrup fruits out of a can.

Lee shakes her head, looking up over her own can of cold meat and potato soup. “Only Oregon, Mama and I went a long time ago but we couldn't find anything.”

Ethan hums, “I think LA will be better for the winter, gets pretty cold here.” 

Lee laughs through her nose, “Are there people in LA?”

“More than here, lots of groups though so there will be less infected.”

Lee turns her nose up just a little, “Groups are bad.”

“I know,” Ethan scrapes the bottom of his can with the small knife, “I was in Cali for a while when this all started. It's not so bad.”

“Why did you leave?”

Five years since he left LA, when the breakout happened it was chaos. The population density made it a bloodbath, he spent a year in a military camp further north in California with most of the people he survived with. A few hidden bites later and everyone he knew was dead or seperated, it was a pit of infected swarming at every corner - he knows it's hardly as bad anymore, the density of runners leaked across different states and a lot of people there made it their revenge plan to kill as many as possible.

“Heard the weather was nice in Seattle.” Ethan shrugs. 

“Whoever told you that was a liar.” Lee states bluntly, a smirk spreads itself across Ethan’s face.

“Yeah well, we need to find a car first.”

They settle in for the night.

-

Lee is staring at Ethan, not on the bag she's supposed to be packing, but rather directly at the side of his head. It's a little bit eerie he won't lie, the girl is sitting on the dining table, legs hung over the edge but not moving an inch, staring at Ethan like he will explode any second.

“You okay?” He says, not looking up from the pistol he's cleaning on the floor in front of him. Lee jumps slightly where she is seated.

“Why are you helping me?” She says, Ethan looks up and she's staring with so much intensity he feels like he may actually explode. 

If she's genuinely confused at why someone would help her, Ethan will fight the entire world until she knows she's worthy of help.

“Universe didn't look to be treating you too kindly.” Ethan says lightly to start, Lee cocks her head in confusion. “Couldn't see anyone else get snuffed out before they have a chance to be happy.”

Ethan feels so old all of the sudden, he misses the days where he could crack jokes so easily without much thought. They come harder and sometimes even passive aggressive these days- maybe so much time alone really changed him into a ghost of what he once was.

“Mama always said people don't help anymore unless they want something.” Lee seems to say mostly to herself, but Ethan snorts a small laugh.

“We gotta find you some nicer people then,” He pauses, “I did want a new best friend though.” He pouts comically and looks at Lee. 

She looks confused by his dramatic change, and then laughs the smallest bit at how ridiculous the man seemed.

-

“How long is the drive?” Lee calls from behind the vehicle.

“‘Bout eighteen hours give or take, we can go over two days if we find gas.” Ethan replies, eyes raking over the engine. It’s not the best but if he can get it to start it’ll work. He moves around to the side of the dust covered black car and slides into the driver's seat, pulling wires out of the dash to attempt hotwiring.

-

They run out of gas in the middle of nowhere seven hours into the drive, Ethan tries to siphon anything from the cars around but they’d all already been tapped, runners were beginning to sneak up on them and it wouldn't be long before it was dark.

Lee stands timid against the passenger side of the car as Ethan swings the butt end of his rifle against the odd head that comes a little too close for comfort. He’d never thought about how his plans might have failed before, because if they did he was usually fine - just crawl back and survive like a cockroach again and again, dancing too close on the line where something could go terribly wrong.

Ethan realised quickly with some panic fluttering through into his veins, that he has responsibility over someone else’s life now - this nasty habit of his would have to be corrected quickly and seamlessly.

“Lee, get back in the car.” Ethan says with a huff, seeing two more infected bolting straight in their direction, eyes glazed with a ravenous hunger. Lee complies easily, spotting the corpses a second after Ethan does.

The smaller creature reaches the car before the other one, Ethan stands with a foot in the car and hunting knife in hand. The runner does his work for him, running headfirst into the tip of his knife and its entire weight carries it the rest of the way, Ethan slams the car door shut as soon as his knife comes free, leaving the other corpse to stand menacingly outside of the window, starring and slamming it’s hands down sporadically.

“Did you not think we should have tried to find more gas before we completely ran out?” Lee asks, same sarcastic lilt to her voice. Ethan turns slowly to meet the smallest of smirks plastered on the girl's face.

“Oh holy Lee, you’re so full of wisdom and knowledge-” Ethan drops the map into his lap and throws his arms against the roof of the car, the smirk spreads wider on her face. “Why didn't you say anything sooner?”

The corpse growls with unabashed anger.

“I think it's pretty common knowledge that cars don't run forever on crumbs.” She leans across Ethan and taps the dashboard just for some added effect.

“Remind me to check in a pharmacy if we see one-” He sniffs, picking the map back up and spotting a small town a long walk away. “I haven't had my meds in years dude.”

Lee laughs, “Brain medicine for your weird brain?”

Ethan can’t seem to bring himself to be even the slightest bit offended, but gives Lee a warning glance anyway. 

“There’s a town not too far away, we should head there for the night and search for fuel in the morning.”

“Is it safe?”

“Would you prefer to sleep in the middle of a highway?”

She just hums in reply, Ethan looks to the monster outside his window. “This one’s a little extra ugly.” And kicks the door open so the corpse flies back.

“What, like you?”

Ethan refuses to reply to such childish banter, but instead pummels the runners head in a little extra than he probably should have.

“I’m offended, Lee.” 

The kid crosses her arms and sticks her tongue out at Ethan.

-

“At least it wasn't bombed?” Ethan says it like it's a question, picking up a mouldy can of food that had been left to rot on a shelf.

There wasn't much here at all, already probably been run through hundreds of times over the last five years, the shelves had been wiped clean in the local store, even the clothes from the single mannequin had been taken. 

“Probably got hit by a community.” Lee chips in, kicking some cardboard into another empty shelf.

“We should lay low then, there’s probably a bunch of ‘em in the woods and who knows if they like strangers.”

The timing is almost comical really, as they leave the store Ethan hears the distinct sound of the safely clicking on a weapon, and spies three men of larger build than him all armed to the teeth with both muscle and weapons way bigger than his own. 

His hand finds Lee’s small arm, immediately pulling her body behind his to shield her, heart thumping wildly.

“We’re just passing through.” He says calmly, a small sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. The middle man doesn't seem to look like he wants trouble, he doesn't stand intimidatingly and doesn't have a lilt of attitude in his stance. 

“We don't get many travellers running through this area.” He says, moving the gun from being directed at Ethan’s face down to his side, his finger never leaves the trigger nevertheless.

“Our car ran out of gas, we’ll be gone by sunrise.” Ethan really doesn't feel like talking to these people, especially not with Lee hiding behind his back like he's made of metal.

The man stood in the middle had smile lines etched into his face, the warm light of the sunset making his tanned skin glow.

“We have a small group a little west of here, you're free to come stay the night, get some food. We got some fires for the little one to warm up.” He says, not unkindly.

Ethan loses some of his edge, finally meeting the guy’s eyes. He doesn't have the hard look of someone sinister. Ethan is never one to trust easily these days, and he knows if they do go he won’t sleep a wink. 

But he also knows that a fire could be really good for Lee right now, two nights of sleeping in freezing weather, cold food and nothing but a hoodie and Ethan's coat to keep her warm at night. She could use something substantial even for just a few hours.

“You’re not one of those groups that seem really nice and then eat us as soon as we trust you, right?” Ethan deadpans, the man's face breaks into a chesty laughter.

“You guys are a little bit too skinny for us to be completely honest.”

Ethan laughs, Lee tugs his coat.

The walls to their small community are a twenty minute hike through the woods west of the town. Ethan learns they send people out on clearing runs daily to clear any infected from the area so the ecosystem can boom just a little bit more than other places, they mostly live on the vegetables they can grow within the community and what meat they find in the forest - it’s enough to provide for the fifty so people they have inside their walls and any passing travellers that need just a little bit of help. 

Lee remains completely silent, but with a little skip in her step with the promise of fire and a hot meal.

The grass and plants littering the floor on their way up to the wooden walls seem to glow with the condensation collecting on them at dusk and new moon peeking through the clouds - a little blood here and there sure but otherwise it’s beautiful. 

A middle aged woman meets them as they walk into the gates, collecting the backpacks off the men and weapons to be stored. There's a few people milling around, talking to each other lightly and carrying items to other places. It's orderly, everyone doing their own parts with a strange light-hearted attitude.

The man who found them (Ethan will have to learn his name) has a hushed conversation about Ethan and Lee with the lady working at the storage counter, it makes him itch and burn in an uncomfortable way - but before Ethan can freak out the lady rounds the counter and marches directly towards them.

“You can keep your light weapons but the heavier ones have to be handed in, for safety and peace of mind. You can come get them again on your way out.” she says kindly, Ethan nods in understanding, feeling strange to part with his rifle but it must be done.

“We’re gonna put you in the guest cabin for tonight, if you need to stay any longer we can arrange somewhere else.”

“Oh no that’s okay, we’re just here for the night thank you.” Ethan replies, still with a strange feeling somewhere inside. He knows this is how nicer communities treat travellers, it's like they get some weird boner about helping out the little guys in this world - it probably helps that Lee is attached to his hip too.

The lady nods, sweeping the curls drooping down onto her sunset skin. “We can go get food now if you’d like, they’re serving meat and potatoes you’re lucky.”

Ethan makes an ‘ahh’ sound, stomach clenching at the thought of hot meat. “That’d be amazing, than-”

His heart stops, catching sight of a dark tuft of hair and a familiar face somewhere in the distance. So suddenly and abruptly he thinks he may be hallucinating. A ball works its way into his throat and he struggles to swallow around it. He must be seeing things, hunger, exhaustion, something? 

The man seems to look exactly the same, the same age and trauma that had roughened everyone up, sure, but he looked the exact same as he did in Ethan’s memory, and there was no way he was mistaken.

“Mark…” Slips out of his mouth so quietly, like he's testing the name. He tests again, taking a stumbled step forward, the figure is still real.

“Mark!” he shouts louder this time, the man is so far away yet Ethan can see the disbelief on his face.

Ethan's heart ramps up to a million beats a second, an unabashed smile reaching all the way up to his eyes and he takes off running - laughing brokenly and sparingly, feet moving faster than his body can handle. 

Mark still looks like he's trying to blink a dream out of his eyes, but takes a few running steps forward before Ethan collides against him for a hug. The man feels the same as he always did, he wraps his arms tight around Ethan’s figure with a crushing energy like the younger will slip out of his grasp any second.

Ethan's whole body feels like a livewire, “I never thought I’d see you again.” he mumbles through a pained smile.

The older man makes a huffing sound like he can’t fathom the words to express how he feels, but his arms somehow get tighter around Ethan’s abdomen and that's more than he could ever ask for. 

“How are you alive?” Mark finally breaks, loosening his embrace to pull back and look Ethan in the eyes. His eyes are glistening with the relief of a dam breaking - looking like Ethan like he's a ghost.

Ethan splutters just a little bit, “I don’t know if I should be offended..” He can’t contain himself - Mark breaks out in a shit eating grin almost as if Ethan’s comment confirmed that yes, his friend is real.

“I mean - I know you were in that military place for a while, I was trying to get accepted inside-” He cuts himself off, “Next thing I heard it was overrun.”

Ethan hums, not letting any form of expression pass over his face, “I went to Washington, heard it was civil.” Ethan laughs, “It wasn't.”

He craned his neck around to spy Lee standing slightly awkwardly as a lady talks to her a bit further in from the front entrance. “I found Lee and thought it was best to be somewhere warmer for winter.”

“You’re lucky you were brought here, there's some sick motherfuckers around California these days.”

Ethan thinks back to the group that killed Lee’s mother, “I think there’s just sick motherfuckers everywhere.”

Mark smiles like he can’t control himself, 

-

Ethan feels like if Mark leaves his sight for even a second the man will disappear forever once again. He feels like seeing him again was some fucked up guilt dream sent to test him.

But sitting across, without the constant threat on the outside world, sharing a simple meal with his friend feels like something otherworldly. It feels a little dirty in some senses, nothing good has happened for so long he feels like he's being punked, and for once in a long time his heart isn't hammering like a hummingbird.

“Did you hit puberty again?” Mark says, looking way too serious. Ethan hadn't realised but Mark was studying his face like he couldn't figure out what had changed. 

Ethan takes a hard chew down on his burrito and swallows, coughing the faintest of laughs.

“I could say the same to you dude.”

Mark had that movie character apocalypse looking going for him. Long hair tied back into a single elastic, not too unkempt to look maddened, but enough to leave stragglers of shorter hairs framing his face. He looked older too, moreso in his cheeks, more mature than he remembers strangely enough (Mark always looked like he would never age anymore). But he didn't change that much all around, keeping the muscular build he had before, if anything, Mark just looked more natural in his faint ruggedness.

“No I mean, you look older.”

Ethan collapses his elbows onto the table, and gives Mark the biggest deadpan he could possibly muster.

“Mark it has been five years, I'm like twenty seven or some shit now.”

Mark looks at him like he's not comprehending Ethan's existence in this world, like Ethan existed somewhere in his mind as a memory to grasp onto, like seeing him in this reality was never possible.

“I’m sorry.” Mark sighs, “I had to let you go a long time ago, I couldn't find you, I thought you were dead Ethan.”

Ethan rubs at his own nose, “Honestly I don’t know how I’m still here either.” he admits quietly.

“I knew you’d probably be okay, you'd be out there somewhere. And if you weren't you’d probably have gone out in some heroic way.”

Mark huffs a laugh, scratching at his forehead.

“I was alone for a long time, and I did some stupid shit that probably should have had me killed. But alas. You are graced with my presence once again.” He ends, trying to smile but it comes across as painful.

“And the kid you came in with? She's yours?”

Ethan nearly throws up a lung trying to keep his laugh in.

“Lee?! She's like 12 of course she's not mine.” 

-

Mark watches as Ethan swings the sharp end of the farming hoe into the cracked soil beneath his worn boots. The age did him well, defined muscles had worked so hard for before now filled his body out naturally.

Ethan had confessed he had no idea how he was alive, how he’d survived. Mark sees that Ethan still hasn't gotten over the agony of actually complimenting himself once in a while because it's clear how he’d survived this long. The boy he’d known before the breakout was full of wonder, drive and passion for something great - yet reliant on the people around him. This Ethan had no one but himself to thank for getting this far.

Mark never thought he’d see Ethan again, maybe he was right. There was a great strain of grief running through Mark, the Ethan he was grieving was one that Mark wanted to protect from this disaster of a world, that Ethan was the perfect fertiliser for this new one to be born.

It shows in the small lines forming between the man's brows, it shows in how he carries himself, strong and self assured. Mark knows Ethan could probably take anything on in this world and come out with his head still held high, cracking painful jokes that had way too much meaning. 

Somewhere deep down, they both survived because even the death of this world would not do them part.


End file.
